(circa 1974)
My father drops me at the side gate in his navy,
beat up Ford Anglia. I’ll leave you here so…
I wait until the car rounds the bend,
smoke billowing from the exhaust,
smell of Sweet Afton on my coat.
I’m glad the other students are not around
to see my hand me downs, worn shoes,
polished to within an inch of their lives.
The battered mustard suitcase makes me stand out.
Assigned a cubicle at the back wall of the dormitory,
a sort of consolation prize, punishment for daring to be here.
I pull across the curtain, wash myself in the enamel basin
with cold water, cry myself to sleep.
The Dublin girls with loud, put-on accents,
I avoid them, they seem to be everywhere.
They ask me where I’m from, I invent a posh address
in Cork city. The male students parade around
the corridors strutting their stuff, young peacocks,
puffing out their chests, making shapes. I avoid them too.
Sister Bernadette, my art teacher, takes a shine to me,
sure there’s nothing wrong in being from Cork, she giggles.
We sit most evenings in the quiet refectory, we talk about Cork things,
how to mix colours, find the right hues, how to make macramé wall hangings.
Her brown habit a burden on her small frame.
She whispers that she once loved a man, he is in her thoughts
every night as she kneels by her bed above the Sanctuary.
Mary Howlett is a poet and artist, her art has been published in The Waxed Lemon, Drawn to the Light Press and the Bangor Literary Journal. Her poetry can be found in literary journals including Wexford Women Writing Undercover, Poetry As Commemoration UCD, The Ireland Collection UK, and elsewhere